You Can Change Your Friends but You Cannot Change Your Siblings or Your Parents. Do Not Let the Enemy Destroy Your Family.


You Can Change Your Friends but You Cannot Change Your Siblings or Your Parents. Do Not Let the Enemy Destroy Your Family.

For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’[a] and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ Matthew 15:4 


 Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31


But Esau ran to meet him, threw his arms around his neck, kissed him, and they wept.  Genesis 33:4


Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.  Genesis 45:4-5



My grandmother Antoinette Malcolm -Smith had only two children, Jenny (my mother) and Jamima (my aunt).  Somehow, the relationship became estranged and they stopped speaking to each other for more than 40 years. The enemy tried to destroy our family but thank God, today our respective families are on very good terms.

Perhaps some of you are experiencing issues in your family and you are saying you do not want anything to do with them. You are probably saying your friends are closer than your family. The truth of matter is, if those friends were you family or live with you, you may have a different perspective of them.

Being apart of the family you have was not a mistake. You were predestined to be a part of this family and your family is a gift from God. Learn to accept the fact that your family will always be your family and so do the right thing by ensuring that you love and care for your family at all times.

Honour Your Parents

The Bible clearly tells us that we should honour our parents. This is a commandment that we should not take lightly. I know there will be times when children will feel that their parents are overbearing and are getting too involved in their personal lives. However, your parents have more experience than you and many times when they provide you with advice, the advice is based on their experience and they do not want you to make the same mistakes they made. Some of us get upset with our parents and stop speaking to them. As a parent, I can assure you, when you become parents, you will want to provide the same advice to your children that your parents provided to you.

Some of you are even mad when your parents make decisions that you do not agree with but yet you do not want your parents to say anything to you about the decisions you made. How many of you did not like the fact that your parents did not approve of the person you were dating? Ironically, though, some of you do not like your parent’s choice in a mate. Some of your parents may have gone through a divorce or the loss of a husband or wife through death and they got remarried to someone you do not like. Your parents are adults. Accept the decision they made.

Respect your parents and I encourage any of you that are not on speaking terms with your parents, to reconcile with your parents as soon as possible. You may feel you did not do anything wrong but still be the first to reach out to your parents. You do not know what tomorrow will bring and you may up end up having so much grief and guilt if your parents were to die tomorrow without you speaking to them. They are your parents and I am telling you if you were to get sick today or tomorrow, your parents may be the only persons by your side all day. Parents if your children do not reach out to you, then you be the first to reach out to them.

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry existed from the time of Cain and Abel era. Cain killed his brother Abel because Abel’s offering was more favourable by God. There was also sibling Rivalry between Esau and Jacob when Jacob tricked his father and got Esau’s birthright.  Fortunately, after many years, Esau and Jacob reconciled. There was also sibling rivalry with Joseph and his brothers. His brothers ended up selling Joseph but, in the end, God set up up Joseph where he was able to bless his siblings and father. Joseph forgave his brothers despite being away from his father and his younger brother Benjamin for years.

Sibling rivalry is so common and happens because of many reasons. Sometimes it can be because of a simple misunderstanding. Jealousy also plays a very important fact in sibling rivalry. When our siblings are blessed more than us, a jealousy spirit kicks in. Folks, try to be happy for your siblings. Pray every day that a jealousy spirit does not overtake your life. Your time will come when your blessings will come. Being jealous of your siblings will not solve anything except create envy and more jealousy and possibly murder. There are siblings even competing with their siblings in the same line of business. Wouldn’t it be better if the siblings unite and form a company together? People open your eyes and see that this is not the way God wants you to live. This is the plan of the enemy.

Do unto others as you would have them to do you.

One of the golden rules we should always follow is do unto others as you would have them to do you. I encourage all of us to follow this rule. Some of you are not speaking to your siblings or your parents and you have children. Do you want your children to stop speaking to you or their siblings? I know your answer will be no. Well if you do not want your children to stop speaking to you or their siblings, then lead by example.

If you are not speaking to your parents or siblings, you are planting a very bad generational seed in your family life that can pass from one generation to the other. Resolve this issue by doing what you want others to do to you.


For the more than thirty years, I did not have a relationship with my aunt. However, in the end, my aunt Jamima became one of my favourite persons and I used to look forward to visiting her. We do not know the future. Some times the family that you reject may be the same family that will end up helping you. Remember the story of Joseph. Therefore, rather than falling in the trap of the Devil’s plan to distort family, be alert and always ensure that your family unit is not destroyed.  The family unit is a foundation that was created by God. When the family unit is broken, it disrupts a major part of your life. You may wish to change your siblings or parents but you just cannot as they are part of you. You will have disagreements from time to time but don’t let the disagreements reach to a point whereby you are no longer speaking to each other. Pray everyday for God to allow you to restore and maintain your family connection. Pray against any jealousy sprit. Your family is a strong foundation that was designed by God. Keep your family unit intact.

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