It helps to understand the feelings of others

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Introduction

I know sometimes we think we understand the pain and suffering that people go through, but I believe to appreciate the feelings and behaviours of others, we must experience some of these things for ourselves. There are individuals who have undergone years of training as professionals to counsel and help others but to experience something for yourself will go a long way in helping others in their healing and recovery process. This is one of the reasons why we should not judge others. Some of us simply do not understand what others are facing.

Being financially broke

Some people do not understand what it means to be broke. You do not have any money. Your expenses are more than your income. You are ignoring calls from your creditors. You are worried because you don’t know where your next dollar is coming from. Don’t judge broke people. If you experience it yourself, perhaps you will be more emphatic toward others and if you are able to become financially stable, you can share your experiences with others.

Being depressed

Depression is real and it is probably more common than you think. I suffered from depression for years and so I think I can relate to those who are experiencing depression. Of course, there are different levels of depression. Do not judge someone who is depressed. Depression can happen to anyone.

Losing someone close to you

Some people lose close family members and friends and as a result they face grief. Some people do not understand why people are still grieving after so many years. Let people grieve. Some of you do not know what they are going through until you experience it for yourself. I had to learn this the hard way through the loss of close family members and friends.

Going through a divorce or separation

Some people have gone through multiple marriages or relationships, and we judge them because it didn’t work out. We do not know what these individuals faced in their marriage. Leave them alone. Until you experience, then you will understand.

Being a leader

Prior to me becoming the CFO and eventually the CEO of Cable & Wireless, I didn’t understand or appreciate the role of a leader. It is a lonely task. It is easy to say if you were a leader, you would lead and make decisions differently. However, you must experience being a leader to appreciate other leaders.

Being a parent

When we reflect on our parents and the way they brought us up, we didn’t appreciate them at that time. Now that we are parents, we find ourselves doing some of the same things to our children that our parents did to us. There are some people who are not parents or guardians but want to tell parents what they should or should not do. It is not the same thing. Experience being a parent yourself and then you will understand.

Being married

When you find the love of your life and you make a commitment to them by marrying them, it is a great thing. However, from time to time, you will face challenges. I think getting advice from other married couples or a married marriage counsellor than to get advice from a single person.

Being an alcoholic or drug addict

I don’t know what it is like to be an alcoholic or drug addict. I can talk to these about what I read but I don’t know how they feel. An ex-alcoholic or an ex-drug addict may be more effective.

Conclusion

Experience matters. You must experience it to understand it. If you have not gone through, it is not the same thing. Don’t tell people you can imagine what they are facing when you have not experienced it. If you know others who have gone through what they have encountered, connect them with others who have experienced it.